Monday, February 18, 2008

Rescheduling the dinner hour

Everyday, Pixie and I eat breakfast at 6am and dinner at 5pm. We definitely like having 2 meals a day (we have heard that some poor, abused dogs only get one meal a day). But we have decided that 11 hours is too long to wait for our dinner. So Pixie came up with a plan. We are going to reschedule our dinner hour by manipulating our person. And we are going to be super secretive about it so she won't even know why she is feeding us sooner. Pixie is real good at thinking up stuff like this - she really likes to eat.

So the first thing we had to do was perfect our "feed me" dance. Pixie is a pro at this so she taught me the steps. I am going to write them out for you here so you all can learn it cause it may come in handy for you.
  1. make sure your ears are standing straight up
  2. stare intensely at your person
  3. do a playbow
  4. remain in playbow stance and hop backwards a few times
  5. stand up and bang your butt into the nearest piece of furniture at least 3 times, if there is no furniture around, you can also bang your butt into your person's legs
  6. while banging your butt begin to make a low whining noise
  7. stand straight up and do the whole body shake
  8. REPEAT and make sure the whining gets louder with each round of the dance
This dance is very annoying for people and they always want to do whatever they have to do to make it stop. OK, so now that we have the dance steps down. Here is the plan - Pixie and I are going to start doing the "feed me" dance one hour earlier each day to coincide with the lengthening of the daylight hours. Currently, we do it at 5pm (our regular mealtime). Tonight we will start up the dancing and singing at 4pm. I can't tell time yet, so I will have to depend on Pixie to get us started - but Pixie's tummy is pretty reliable.

Soon we should be eating dinner right after we eat breakfast. Then the plan is to start up the breakfast version of the dance an hour earlier and then we should be eating breakfast right after we eat dinner. I mean how cool will this be eventually we will spend all day eating breakfast and then dinner and then breakfast and then dinner and our person will never be the wiser.

Wish us luck - I will let you know how it goes.

Yours in struggle,


Celeste said...

Dear, dear, Bug --
Your plan seems a wise one at first approach, but these human servants can be crafty. They get VERY grouchy if the breakfast moves too far back to the middle of the night, and before you know it BANG -- you're gettin' fed ONE TIME A DAY.
Been there. There ain' no turning back.
Gabi, the Girl Goober
Appointed scribe of the Wayward Whippets
Designated Know It All

Wendy said...

Bug - please let us know if your plan works. My brainless sister Zoey tries to move dinnertime up by an hour every day, but it never works. Maybe some clock tampering would help?
your pal, Nemo

Poet said...

What is wrong with youngsters today, expecting everything to be served on a platter. Go out and kill your own dinner. Anything with fur is usually tasty, excepts cats and badgers but kill them anyway, just for the practice.


thubbs said...

Hmmm. That Pixie sounds pretty sly, Bug.. Also, it sounds like you've got your person under your paw! Nice.. Good eating!!

libresy said...

Cute blog and pup!