Monday, September 21, 2009

Best method for tableside begging

This is Pixie and I demonstrating our proven method of tableside begging. I assure you that if you beg like us, you will always get some delicious morsels of human food.

Here is what you do -

1) Target the person who has been in the house the shortest amount of time - they are most likely a visitor/guest and probably don't know there are any house rules against getting fed at the table

2) Think about a really sad time in your life - like when you first were separated from your Mom or when your favorite toy stopped squeaking - this will get your eyes to have the appropriate sad/pathetic look

3) Try to stare at them without blinking for as long as you possibly can. If you must blink - try to blink a few quick times one after the other - humans seem to like this

4) Be quiet - do not whine, bark, or make any noise. Yes, I know this is tough - but really the humans have no idea what you are saying, so it isn't worth it.

5) Remain on the floor - no, seriously - do not get up, do not push your nose into their lap, do not put your front feet on the table, do not pace back and forth, do not circle the table in a sharklike fashion -- just stay on the floor and stare

If you follow these 5 steps, pretty soon a human hand is going to approach your nose (remember stay down) and give you some tasty foods.

That is it. So give it a shot and see how you do.

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