Thumbs Are Overrated

Humans, well primates in general, go around all the time talking about how great it is to have thumbs. Thumbs can do this and thumbs can do that. Thumbs, thumbs, thumbs. Thumbs, they say, are what separate us from other species. Thumbs, they say, allow them to do all sorts of incredible things - cut down trees or build atomic bombs, for example. These thumbs of theirs are responsible for closing millions of crate doors and pulling on thousands of choke collars. Thumbs, thumbs, stinkin' thumbs. Well I say - who needs thumbs?! I can do everything I want and more with the teeth and the four thumbless paws that I have.

Here is a perfect example - today my good friend the UPS man arrived with a package. Using my nose (superior to all primate noses) I figured out that the box contained something for me - dog food.

I then set to work on getting my cute little snout into the box to find the food. Knowing that it was a rainy day and my Mom was busy working, I figured she would let me have a little fun. I saw that statement written on the box "do not use sharp objects to open," but I ignored it. I used my extra sharp teeth (better than human teeth).

And voila!!! Within a few minutes I had made a nice-sized hole in the box and pulled out the bubble paper (which I saved for later destruction).

Well, at this point, my Mom did step in and I was unable to continue. But anyway - I did all this without thumbs. Let me say it again - I did all that without thumbs. So you can take your thumbs, I will stick with my teeth and thumbless paws. Thank you very much.