The Squirrel Relocation Program

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed that there was a squirrel hanging out on our balcony. I watched it out there for a few days, trying to formulate a plan to a) get out the sliding glass door, b) catch the squirrel and c) EAT the squirrel. I didn't have any success figuring out a way to get out the door and onto the balcony myself, so I sat and stared out the window until my Mom noticed me and came to see what was up. At first, I think she thought that this squirrel was just visiting from his home in the nearby tree. But then the squirrel ran into the outdoor closet and we both realized at the same time that this squirrel was living out there. My Mom seemed pretty upset about this. I was overjoyed - she was sure to let me out there to get the squirrel now. But nope, she refused. She went out there herself to assess the situation. She cleared some stuff out of the closet and then I think she forgot about the squirrel. I did not forget.

Well today, I happened to be walking past the balcony door and there it was again - my nemesis - the evil freeloading squirrel. How dare this squirrel take up residence in the closet out there and really, how dare my Mom make me stay inside instead of letting me remedy the situation as nature intended. My Mom seemed upset by seeing the squirrel out there again and I kept trying to explain to her that I was perfectly willing and able to dispatch the squirrel quickly and efficiently. I know that several of my whippet relatives are master squirrel killers and I really wanted my chance to get one too. Here I am pleading my case - let me at him, come on, let me at him.

No such luck.

Upon further investigation in the closet, my Mom found the nest that the squirrel had made:
And then began the squirrel relocation program. It would make me so happy to tell you that the squirrel was relocated to the inside of my tummy, but I never even had a chance to try and get at it. Instead, my Mom relocated the squirrel's house to the inside of the dumpster. I wonder if the squirrel will find his new home? I will be sure and tell him if I see him. Yeah, thats it, I will tell him where his new home is right before I sink my teeth into his neck.